"I wish you were my daddy”

Children’s author draws on his fostering experience for his inspirational new book.



Children's Author John Halverson pictured.

Local man John Halverson, 56, has used his understanding of the children he has cared for to write and illustrate ‘The Big Brown Lazy Dog’.

Along with his wife, Mags, he has fostered more than 72 children in their Perthshire home over periods ranging from two days to five years.

“We foster wee ones, from new-borns to toddlers. We saw just how damaged some of the older ones were and didn’t want to expose our own adopted son to that.

“With the younger ones it’s about nurturing them and restoring some of the trust that has been lost - to show them that there is hope.”

Fostering is a temporary arrangement where the carer offers a child a safe secure place to stay while their family is unable to care for them. Many of the children then return to their birth family and some children are adopted by another family.

AdoptionUK uses government National statistics for the last year, ending 31 March 2015, to show that there were 69,540 children looked after by local authorities and foster carers in England - a rise from 69,540 the previous year. Statistics showed there were 15,580 looked after children in Scotland on 31 July 2014. It states that ‘the majority of looked after children (61%) are looked after by the state due to abuse or neglect.

John said: “They often come in and they are bland and in-shock. It’s good to see life start to return to them. They become happy, bubbly and care-free, the way they should always have been.”

“We had one small child, who appeared on our doorstep too frightened to look at anyone. He was very unhappy, distraught.

“He had suffered terrible, terrible abuse. It was very sad. We offered him protection. Once he could cope with touch I would hold him close and offer cuddles. We would sing silly songs, and find his tickly spots. He absorbed all that.”

John himself was in foster care briefly as a baby and again as a toddler. He said: “For us fostering is about bringing our own life experiences, and giving back. We have been fostering children now for 17 years and have never regretted doing this.”

“It tears your heart out when they go and you come to understand what it feels like to lose a child. You develop a bond with them and they feel like your own. You put your soul into every child and watch their transition. Sometimes they are incredibly damaged and you go through hell and emotional turmoil for that child.

“They will say ‘I wish you were my daddy’, and that breaks your heart. You wonder how they will feel when they waken up and realise that you are not there.”

John leaves it up to the families that the children are returned to, or find, as to whether they will stay in touch.

“Sometimes the Mum just needs some support and some ‘TLC’ herself, and we become like their aunt and uncle.”

“The role of a foster carer is to give, give, give. What you can take from it at the end is the opportunities they might have in the future and how you have impacted on them. When you look back at the journey some have had, you can see how happy and complete they are now.”

John put his study of Illustration at Duncan and Jordanstone College of Art in Dundee to good use in his book which is complete with his own traditional watercolour drawings. He uses them to help to teach his child readers about some of the most important life lessons he learned in his job as a foster carer. The book uses large simple pictures and only a few sentences per page.

“As I was working on the book, I saw images of some of the kids I have looked after. Some of them have been the inspiration for a few of the characters in the book.”

He added: “Looking after the children has been a joy and a privilege. Now I trust that many children will get joy from reading my book. It’s my wish that I can reach out to more children through my book.”



An illustration of The Big Brown Lazy Dog.

The book is about a dog that falls asleep in the middle of the path and the other animals get annoyed at the ‘lazy’ dog so try to climb over him.

John said: “It’s a warm and funny tale about not judging others. He’s an analogy for an obstacle that you might look silly resolving, but as a result you find a solution.”

The message also relates to John’s own experience as a child.

“I didn’t have the best start in life. I was a bit wild and had a lot of anger. I was fostered because my mum became ill. That’s how I know that for kids in that situation are thinking one thing: “Please be nice to me.” Kids should feel safe and non-judged. That’s what’s important.

“People who judge others actually end up looking a bit silly because they don’t have all the facts. Life is full of judgement everywhere, and I thought, no, I’m not going to have that and that’s the message of my book.”

When John and Mags were unable to have a child of their own they chose to adopt their son.

“I think people judge when a family experiences childlessness and during adoption. When we couldn’t have kids, we were left raw. People would say horrendous things.”

“We adopted Ruben when he was little and I guess you could say that eventually we reached the top of the big brown lazy dog.

“Now he is 23, he’s well-rounded and working in Canada now. We are happy he has recently got engaged and is coming home soon to get married.”

John’s goodwill was passed on to his son who works in a night shelter there. A proud father tells me “It holds 600 children and gets them out of the freezing temperatures outside. Before that he was working with foster children on a 220 acre horse-riding ranch called Brightwood in Alberta for a social care agency called ‘Hope’.”

The lovable children’s book can be purchased from Amazon and more locally online from Fun Junction and it is also stocked within their Perth High Street branch and at the Glendoick Garden Centre near Dundee.